Everyone knows that holidays — especially those that fall at this time of year — can be stress inducing.
There’s too much to do and not enough time. There’s too much to buy and the budget is tight. Expectations are too high and cannot possibly be met. You’re supposed to feel happy and festive, and you don’t.
Sarah Bauer, a licensed professional counselor and the owner of Magnolia Counseling in Harleysville, Montgomery County, explained why the holidays can seem overwhelming or disappointing.
“Many of us feel pressure to make the season magical and fulfill all the expectations we’ve created about what the holidays should look like,” she said. “Additionally, more people are experiencing financial strain this year. All these stressors can make it difficult to fully enjoy the season.”
In addition, Bauer noted, holidays can intensify feelings of grief, sadness and anxiety caused by loss, family conflict or other issues.
If you’re feeling particularly stressed this holiday season, you are by no means alone.
A new national poll from the American Psychiatric Association showed that 41% of people surveyed reported holiday stress, compared to 30% between 2022 and 2024.
Tips for coping with holiday stress
Niya Grenevich, a licensed professional counselor and director of Behavioral Health at the Berks Community Health Center, said that while people experience stress for various reasons, there are coping skills that can be helpful to nearly everyone.
She offered the following tips:
• Set boundaries to avoid overcommitting yourself. Saying no is okay.
• Maintain a healthy sleep schedule.
• Take breaks throughout holiday activities to recharge and avoid potential burnout.
• Drink and eat responsibly. It’s okay to treat yourself, but maintain control.
• Employ grounding techniques. Identify five things you can see around you, four things you can feel, three things you can hear, two things you can smell and one thing you can taste.
• Try to get at least 30 minutes alone each day to engage in a stress-relieving activity, such as taking a soothing bath or reading a book.
• Start a gratitude journal in which you give thanks and acknowledge small, good things in your life.
• Practice some yoga or meditation. There are accessible videos on YouTube.
• Identify a support person who you can call or meet up with when you are stressed.
• Reach out for help if you are struggling with your mental health or need additional support. If you’re in crisis, contact the suicide/crisis hotline at 988.
The case for gifting without overspending
One thing is for certain. It’s easy to overspend during the holiday season.
Between the prices of gifts, travel, entertaining, seasonal outings and other splurges, costs can add up fast, leaving consumers with empty wallets and big credit card debt.
While holiday spending in America is set to top an average of $1,000 per person, according to the data gathering firm Statista, there are wide disparities in spending among affluent households versus lower-income households struggling with increasing costs of necessities, high interest rates, employment concerns and other factors.
Having to limit or forego gift giving can be especially difficult for parents who fear disappointing their children.
Bauer, the mother of a 6-year-old and 7-year-old, said that while she understands that feeling, it’s important to remember that children need security and support more than material gifts.
“Most children don’t remember the exact presents they got last Christmas,” she said. “What’s more important is that they feel connected and loved.”
If, like many people, you’re concerned about spending too much this year, here are a few ideas for thoughtful, inexpensive gifts that are sure to be appreciated.
• Treats such as decorated cookies, mixed nuts in a pretty jar, homemade pickles, snack mix, a hot chocolate variety pack with a festive mug or other consumables are widely appreciated.
• Giving your time and talent is a great idea for an inexpensive gift. You could write a card pledging an afternoon of babysitting for a friend or relative with small children or give a certificate good for three homecooked dinners.
• Creating a gift that captures special moments or memories, such as framed photos of loved ones together or a digital slideshow of a favorite vacation, is a thoughtful gift that doesn’t cost much.
The case for giving to help others
It’s no secret that need across our region is high.
Jay Worrall, president of Berks County-based Helping Harvest Fresh Food Bank and board chair of Feeding Pennsylvania, reported that cuts in federal funding for food distribution programs made earlier this year are straining the ability of food banks across the state and nation to continue supplying resources to those most in need.
And interruptions to food stamp benefits during the shutdown of the federal government increased demand for help, putting additional pressure on places that work to assist those in need.
Housing insecurity also has increased, and programs aimed at transitioning homeless people into permanent housing are being threatened under new guidelines from the Department of Housing and Urban Development.
Donating time or resources to a nonprofit or charitable organization this holiday season can not only benefit those in need but improve your health and well-being.
According to an article released by Harvard Health Publishing, studies have shown that engaging in acts of kindness can improve happiness, reduce anxiety and increase feelings of social connectedness.
One idea is to provide a gift in the name of a loved one for an organization such as the Salvation Army’s Angel Tree, the Heifer Project or Toys for Tots. If you’re looking for other ideas, consider these:
• Pottstown Beacon of Hope, a housing organization that recently broke ground for a new year-round center.
• Phoenixville Area Community Services, an agency that provides food for individuals, families and other agencies in Chester County.
• New Journey Community Outreach, a Reading-based center that provides food, clothing and other services and is working toward expanding its space to serve more people.
• Operation Holiday, a program that serves struggling families in our region and is funded by readers of these newspapers.
• Media Food Bank @ First Church, a food assistance organization serving all of Delaware County.Norristown Hospitality Center, a low-barrier day shelter providing services to anyone in need.
Keeping fun in your holidays
Despite growing widespread need and high stress levels, you can find a lot of opportunities for fun this Christmas season, at little or no cost.
Here are a few ideas to get you started.
• Songs, Stories & Sleighbells — A Holiday Concert will be held on Saturday at 7 p.m. at Trinity Presbyterian church in Berwyn, Chester County. Doors open at 6:30. The event is free, but a freewill offering will be taken.
• One of the largest free holiday lights display in the nation, Christmas on the Mountain, is open through Dec. 23 on North 14th Street in Reading. Operated by the Reading High School Marine Corps JROTC, the event is family friendly, and parking and admission are free.
• Historic Pottsgrove Manor in Pottstown is open for Twelfth Night tours through Jan. 12. Visitors can learn how the Potts family celebrated Twelfth Night, an 18th-century tradition. Tours are available Tuesdays through Saturdays from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. and on Sundays from 1 to 4 p.m. A $2 donation is suggested.
• The Berks County Parks and Recreation Department’s Holiday Lights at Gring’s Mill is open through Dec. 23 in Spring Township, Berks County. Admission and parking are free and various events are planned. Check here for dates and times.
Finding time for connection and gratitude
While the winter holidays come with high expectations and can be stressful, they also can be a time to find contentment and happiness.
Making time for meaningful connections with others is always important, but even more so if you’re feeling overwhelmed or anxious, Bauer said. She recommended looking for opportunities to build meaningful connections through genuine, present conversation; taking walks with others to look at holiday lights; and offering small acts of kindness.
“It’s easy to become overwhelmed by the stress, pressure and expectations of the season,” Bauer advised. “This year, consider creating space to acknowledge any heaviness you’re carrying, adjust unrealistic expectations and seek out small but meaningful moments of connection with others.”
