If you fall in the active aging category, you’re more likely to be dealing with the deaths of more friends and loved. Just because this can be anticipated doesn’t make it any easier.
Whether it’s a spouse of 50 years or a motivational workout buddy at your retirement community, the grieving process related to loss can take time. It can also take its toll on you mentally, physically and emotionally if a loss isn’t given the space to be fully processed.
You can choose to contend with the repercussions of loss on your own; with the help of a professional, such as a talk therapist; or seek out a local support group centered on grieving to help with the process, among other resources.
Since isolation can be an issue among seniors, a workshop or support group that involves others can add a beneficial social component.
“My grief therapist spoke to me about the increased isolation a widow or widower experiences the older we get, especially for those with little family or suffering from family estrangement,” said Kara Hand of Chester County, who is a certified horticultural therapist who also holds a degree in applied psychology and runs grief-centered workshops.
Unique avenue to contend with grief
One option that will start being offered as a unique avenue to contend with grief this fall can be found at a one-room schoolhouse located at 401 Stony Run Road in East Vincent Township, Chester County.
The 2 1/2-hour workshops offer an opportunity for participants to get crafty with plants while having the opportunity to form a sense of community with other participants who are also going through a grieving process.
For Hand, a mother of six and the owner of Handsome Acres Farm in North Coventry, Chester County, it was during the terminal illness and then the passing of her husband, Richard P. Hand’s, in 2021 when she realized how therapeutic and helpful gardening was for her and their entire family, so she began offering the experience and benefits to others.
”My grief therapist told me the grieving process began the moment we learned of his terminal diagnosis, not at the time of his death,” Hand said. ”Anyone who knew and loved him went through this same process.”
Therapeutic horticulture studies
During that time, she didn’t understand or realize the healing impact that planning and building a garden had for so many people beyond her kids and herself until she started her journey in therapeutic horticulture studies.
“The life cycle of a plant is similar to that of us humans,” she said. “The many people who joined us for the planning and building, planting, harvesting, cooking and canning — all the steps represented something in all of our journey of grief.”
Hand found a new purpose in her work when she figured out a way to blend two of her loves.
“It was one particular evening adult workshop during my beta class testing phase in 2023 that I introduced myself and gave a quick explanation of how we came to be through the loss of my husband and finding a new purpose blending our two loves of plants and crafts,” she said. “These 12 ladies, mostly strangers to each other, began crafting and were having a great time and then one of them mentions the recent loss of her mom and how she would have loved this class.”
Tears were shed
She found that while they had their eyes focused on their own projects, at the same time they were working and talking about their personal losses, asking questions of each other. Some tears were shed and laughs were had.
That’s when the idea for a grief workshop hit her.
“I thought I need to schedule a workshop specific for those going through the grief process — a safe space where all crafters are going through a journey of loss and healing,” she said. “I personally knew how long it took for me to feel comfortable leaving the house after my husband died — I felt so out of place and felt how my presence made people uncomfortable because they just wanted to support me, but they just didn’t know what to say.”
Raw pain
Hand has experienced that it isn’t just humans that people are in need of mourning.
“I will never forget the crafter who came in not long after she lost her horse,” Hand said. “She was in so much pain, and she was in tears. Her pain was so raw. The loss of pets can be so devastating.”
Hand also had an Iraq veteran join a workshop.
“She briefly touched on how many of her friends from the military have committed suicide,” Hand said.
Her grief workshop format offers a no eyes on me approach due to the focus on the project at hand.
“If you want to talk, you can — if you just want to listen that’s fine,” she said. “Everyone is busy with their project so it is my hope that everyone feels most comfortable in our workshop.”
Connection to plants
Through participating in her workshops, Hand hopes that crafters feel a connection to plants and nature and feel safe in their environment with those on a similar journey of grief and loss.
“I want them to feel however they want to feel, and know that it is OK,” Hand said. ”I hope that crafters will reflect on our human lifecycle and its parallel to that of a plant, and just like a plant, if we do not properly care for ourselves, we too will wilt and not be healthy or thrive.”
She hopes the projects in the workshops not only serve as a little memorial for participants, but also a constant reminder to take care of themselves and remind they are not alone.
“Nurturing plants, having a purpose, a reason to get up in the morning, something to force us to get out of bed when we just want to pull the covers over our heads and not leave our room,” Hand said of some of the benefits of working with plants, “and just knowing that the plants need us to care for them to thrive … it serves as a great reminder to try and do a better job of caring for ourselves,” Hand said. “Plants are so healing.”
More information
Upcoming Helping Hands grief workshops
Hand’s seasonal workshop projects are meant to last and can be re-potted after they grow. Projects are subject to change based on requests, such as pumpkins, succulents, birdhouses, personal table-top Zen gardens and wreaths.
• Thursday, 11:30 a.m. -2 p.m.
• Nov. 6, 11:30 a.m.-2 p.m.
• Nov. 6, 6-8:30 p.m.
• Jan. 8, 2026: 11:30 a.m.-2 p.m.
To sign up for one or more workshops, and to find out more information, visit www.handsomeacresfarm.com.
Click on the Healing Hands Grief Workshop tab to book a spot and find out the project focus of the dates.
You’re welcome to bring a support person to the workshop with you.
Workshops are open to those age 18 and older going through any type of grieving process related to the loss of a spouse, parent, pet, friend, relative, etc.
About Handsome Acres Farm greenhouse and schoolhouse workshops
Kara Hand runs her small family farm in Northern Chester County, blending her family’s love of plants and crafts to offer guests unique workshop experiences at both the greenhouse at her farm in North Coventry Township and her schoolhouse in East Vincent Township, both in Chester County.
Their workshops offer an opportunity to tap into and express your creativity, connect with nature and bring a touch of their little farm’s vibrant energy into your home. They strive to be a place of learning, acceptance and education. Their activities support our natural human/plant connection and promote the importance of mental and physical health.
About Kara Hand
Hand, who runs the grief workshops with an assistant, holds a certificate in therapeutic horticulture as well as a degree in applied psychology. She focuses on wellness and self-care. As a therapeutic horticulturist she uses gardening or plant-related activities to promote well-being and focus on restoration.
Through her workshops, Hand focuses on stress relief, well-being, self-help, social engagement and community engagement activities using plants, gardens, plant crafts and natural or nature-based rituals to help people process grief.
Other resources: finding support is crucial
According to GriefShare, grief is a journey that shouldn’t be traveled alone. A GriefShare group is a safe place to find support. GriefShare offers support groups throughout Pennsylvania. To find a grief support group in your area, visit www.griefshare.org.
Source: GriefShare
25 ways to handle grief and loss by AARP
To learn about strategies to help you heal, visit www.aarp.org/family-relationships/ways-to-handle-grief-loss.
